Time Management?!?!

What the hell is time management?!?! How do you manage time?!?! Isn’t that kind of like managing space?!?!

I’ve been told that I have ‘poor time management skills’. No shit, Sherlock. What gave it away? Was it the fact that I’m…hmmm, let me see….always running LATE?!?!?

Apparently, I’m not alone. Trouble with time management is a common effect of ADHD.  I am CONSTANTLY losing track of time, doing things in the wrong order, procrastinating, missing deadlines or, my personal favorite, underestimating the amount of time needed for a task.  Recently, I had lunch with my sister (who is also my BFF) and we were getting ready to leave for a 1pm music class for our daughters. The music class was 13 minutes away, according to my GPS. In my brain though, I was envisioning it to be about 5 minutes away. At 12:45, my sister was encouraging us to leave ASAP.  I secretly thought she was being a little nuts and that we had plenty of time. At around 12:50, we were off to the library in our separate cars and it dawned on me, ‘Holy shit! We’re gonna be late!!!!” I glanced in the rear view mirror and, sure enough, there’s my sis, totally stressing out. She calls me up and says, “We’re gonna be late!!!!! I HATE BEING LATE!!!!”  Sigh. I’m ALWAYS late.

In my family, I’m known for being late. Now, not EXCESSIVELY late, mind you!!!! I’m not the type of person who is AN HOUR late (that’s someone else in my family). I’m just a few minutes late. I always think I’m going to be right on time…but I rarely am.

A common tactic for people with ADHD is to add an extra 10 minutes onto any task. I DO that. It doesn’t work. I think my sister adds an extra 10 minutes onto our times that we plan to meet to account for my lateness.  For example, if I say I’ll be somewhere at noon, she knows I’ll get there around 12:15. She likes punctuality and I’d imagine this probably pisses her off…but I’m her sister so she’s stuck with me. My ADHD husband also has a thing for punctuality. He HATES it when people are late and becomes very stressed out when I cause us to be late (but he’s stuck with me too!). He has this trick he uses to be on time which involves setting his alarm clock 14 minutes fast.  (Why 14? Because he likes that number.) It works for him. But, my brain just isn’t buying it! Nope. I just figure I have about an extra 15 minutes…and that probably makes me later.

People with ADHD often have a different perception of how time passes. I always try my best to be on time. Actually, I get VERY stressed out when I’m rushing because I’m running late. One area that I find very challenging is the morning rush routine. My son needs to be sitting IN his seat at school at 8:25 or he’s marked tardy. I have made some progress in this area lately. I’ve managed to get him to school on time every single morning except one so far this year (a miracle, I know!!!!). The key to my success lies in my routine. If I deviate from it AT ALL…I’m screwed. I need to do everything the exact same way, every day or he’s late. And getting him there at 8:23 and yelling “RUN!!!!!” just doesn’t count.

Ok. I’m getting bored. I apologize for wasting your time in reading this boring-ass post. Also, I’m currently exercising my poor time management skills–there’s lots of stuff I need to be doing right now. Which I may or may not do. I’ll probably go start 10 tasks and have 10 unfinished tasks by nightfall.

Damn it. I just noticed that my husband STILL hasn’t hung our daughters growth chart on the door properly. We got hardware to hang it like 3 months ago. I told him this and said it’s a good example of our poor time management skills. To which he had two things to say:

1. People with ADHD age better. Why? Because we ignore time.

2. I’ll hang the chart today.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Getting ‘squatchy

That’s right, people.
That there is Bigfoot.
On my very own kitchen floor!

Now, when I began this blog (a whole 5 days ago), I decided I would not, ever, put photos of my family on. I am, by nature, very paranoid and do not trust internet security. And I’m not making any exceptions here because CLEARLY this is NOT my 7 year old son. As you can plainly see, it’s Bigfoot.

What is Bigfoot doing on my kitchen floor? Oh. I’m so glad you asked!

He is having the mother of all shit fits.

Bigfoot is unhappy because we aren’t having a costume party. It’s Tuesday night dinner and Bigfoot has posted a sign, specifically requesting a costume party, but his damn parents won’t humor him. Not because they don’t like playing dress up but because they just did this the previous night. Oh, and the night before that too.

Parenting can be challenging.
(What an understatement, right?!?!?)
Especially if you have ADD/ADHD or have a child that does.
Even more so if you AND your child both have ADD/ADHD!!!!

But, you know what would make parenting a lot easier? Personally, it would help me out a lot if my son were dressed up as Bigfoot whenever he has a meltdown. Because, rather than being annoyed and frustrated, my husband and I were laughing our assess off! Now, I’m not advocating laughing at your dear children when they’re upset. I tried not to. Really, I did!!! But, YOU try keeping a straight face when your beloved child, dressed head to toe in brown fuzz, is rolling around making wookie noises on the floor! Hilarious.

Temper tantrums are annoying and challenging for any parent to deal with. For me, having ADD makes it very difficult to handle certain annoyances in an appropriate way. Like many people with ADD/ADHD, my mouth often moves faster than my brain. And I’m not just “not thinking” or being careless with my words, thank you very much!

Here’s the deal:

ADD/ADHD affects the frontal lobe of the brain. Our frontal lobe plays a strong role in our emotional regulation and is responsible for controlling impulses,organization, motivation and “sequential memory.”

So, thanks to my dysfunctional frontal lobe, I often lack the impulse control to sensor my words and actions. In other words, I blurt out things that are better left unsaid. For example, the other day I got freaked out when my husband was driving and I yelled, “FUCK A DUCK!!!” (my most favorite swear word phrase) with my kids in the car. Oops.

Anyways, tantrums can be very challenging for me to deal with. I spent a lot of time thinking about why they are so hard. When my son has a melt down, I feel very out of control. I DON’T like feeling this way. It makes me feel anxious and stressed. This kicks in my ADD and causes me to overreact (lack of emotional regulation…thanks again, frontal lobe!). When Bigfoot threw his shit fit on our floor, my husband and I chose laughter. And what happened?!? It stopped the tantrum in it’s tracks! Go figure! We all started laughing and no one got stressed or upset. We moved on. If only this could happen more often!

What have I learned from this?
Making my son wear his Bigfoot costume around all the time isn’t practical (it sheds everywhere!). Laughing, or at least smiling, when faced with a challenging situation will help me feel more in control of my emotions. And when I’m in control of my own emotions, I am more capable of helping my child regain control.

I accept the fact that this won’t always work. I will most likely NOT smile when faced with certain shit fits. You know the ones–they occur early in the morning, when you haven’t gotten enough sleep, before your coffee and are over things like “I CANT FIND MY BLUE SOCKS!!!!”…and you’re running late. You know what I mean.

But, here’s the thing. I’m trying my best. So, tonight I will be attending our impromptu costume party dinner dressed as a pirate. Again.